Upside Down by Lia Riley

Series: Off the Map, #1

Publication: August 5th 2014 by Grand Central/Forever

Goodreads Description:

If You Never Get Lost, You’ll Never Be Found

Twenty-one-year-old Natalia Stolfi is saying good-bye to the past-and turning her life upside down with a trip to the land down under. For the next six months, she'll act like a carefree exchange student, not a girl sinking under the weight of painful memories. Everything is going according to plan until she meets a brooding surfer with hypnotic green eyes and the troubling ability to see straight through her act.

Bran Lockhart is having the worst year on record. After the girl of his dreams turned into a nightmare, he moved back home to Melbourne to piece his life together. Yet no amount of disappointment could blind him to the pretty California girl who gets past all his defenses. He's never wanted anyone the way he wants Talia. But when Bran gets a stark reminder of why he stopped believing in love, he and Talia must decide if what they have is once in a lifetime . . . or if they were meant to live a world apart.

My thoughts: 

Upside Down is one of the most addicting books I've read this year! I literally stayed up all night reading it without meaning to; it was such a fun easy quick read! I'd definitely recommend it for anyone looking for a quick new adult romance book.

Natalia, the main character, was likeable enough. She's dealing with a lot of stuff in the story and has lots of flaws which made her feel real and human to me. I liked how she was independent she was and how she wasn't struggling with self confident issues like many other NA female protagonists.

I had a hard time liking Bran, I knew straight away he was trouble. He has a lot of issues too and he's not a nice guy. He's actually a bit mean at times. I didn't love him but I did warm up to him a bit as we got to know him. He does make some bad decisions which turned me off but he might redeem himself in later books.

The romance was good, I liked how Bran wasn't used as a way to 'fix' Talia. They definitely have their issues as a couple but their relationship was fun to read about.

There is some OCD representation which I don't think I've ever come across in my reading. The whole book isn't about Talia dealing with her OCD but it is mentioned a good few times. One of the other characters tees picks up on Talia's rituals but doesn't treat her any different which I liked. I can't speak on the rep but from other reviews it seems like the author did a good job as it's ownvoices.

I also want to highlight that one of the side characters is anorexic and it is talked about so if that's triggering for you maybe skip this one.

I was so excited when I heard Upside Down was set in Australia because it's no somewhere I've ever been or read about. There was so many Australian stereotypes though which annoyed me. I felt like the author went overboard on it.

Upside Down was full of drama, tragic backstories and emotional hurt but that's what made it so quick to read 

I wasn't left dying to pick up the next book but I had a lot of fun reading Upside Down and will be picking up the rest of the books when I want something quick and easy to read!

Thanks for reading,

A :)

What I Lost by Alexandra Ballard

*trigger warning for eating disorders on this book and blog post!*

Publication: June 6th 2017 by Farrar, Straus and Giroux (BYR) 

Goodreads Description:

What sixteen-year-old Elizabeth has lost so far: forty pounds, four jean sizes, a boyfriend, and her peace of mind. As a result, she’s finally a size zero. She’s also the newest resident at Wallingfield, a treatment center for girls like her—girls with eating disorders. Elizabeth is determined to endure the program so she can go back home, where she plans to start restricting her food intake again. She’s pretty sure her mom, who has her own size 0 obsession, needs treatment as much as she does. Maybe even more. Then Elizabeth begins receiving mysterious packages. Are they from her ex-boyfriend, a secret admirer, or someone playing a cruel trick? 

My thoughts:

*I am placing a big trigger warning for eating disorders on this book! There is content in this book that could be trigger to some such as discussion of weight, size, calories, unhealthy eating behaviour and anxiety around eating.*

What I Lost is the eating disorder story I have been looking for. Ballard captures the raw intensity of what it's like to live with an ED and what it's like to be in recovery. While some parts were difficult to read I had an amazing time reading Elizabeth's story!

I loved how Alexandra Ballard discussed some of the more medical stuff associated with eating disorders that are usually not mentioned in the media. There is mentions of lanugo, Mitral Valve Prolapse (a heart condition), the girls get bone density tests and much more which was great to see represented. 

I really enjoyed reading Elizabeth's journey in recovery, I was cheering her on and loved reading the moments she had a breakthrough as well as feeling connected to her and her experience. I related to Elizabeth and the girls a good bit and while I was reading I felt like I really got to know Elizabeth and was rooting for her. The author captured living with and ED in an authentic manner and I found myself picking out little details here and there thinking 'Yes!!yes that's right! She gets it!' I also loved how Elizabeth goes through a bit of an identity crisis of who she was with/without her anorexia. I felt it was a realistic portrayal of someone with an ED.

While this book is really about Elizabeth's recovery, I did really enjoyed the mystery aspect of the plot of who was sending her the gifts. I was guessing the whole time and coming up with theories as I read which added a fun lighthearted side to a sometimes difficult read.

Elizabeth's friendships with the other girls was also a highlight. Their relationships were definitely complicated because of the situation they were in but they felt real and I liked that. They supported each other and wanted what was best for each other. Some is the side characters fell a bit flat but 2/3 where developed enough for me to care about them 

It was also super interesting having the parents as a big part of the story. The impact Elizabeth's parents had on her behaviours and her treatment had a bigger role than I expected. We even got to see how her treatment was effecting them. It is important in a story like this to include families because they are a big part of the recovery process. 

What I Lost is different than Paperweight and Wintergirls but a good different, a great different actually. This books are great but in a different way. What I Lost is a more of an uplifting read because this is a story about recovery.

I really enjoyed What I Lost and definitely recommend if you are looking for a book about eating disorders that doesn't shy away from the reality of living with one and has a strong focus on recovery. 

Thanks for reading,

A :)

Paperweight by Mag Haston

*Trigger warning with this book for eating disorders and self harm*

Publication:July 7th 2015 by HarperTeen

Goodreads Description:
Seventeen-year-old Stevie is trapped. In her life. And now in an eating-disorder treatment center on the dusty outskirts of the New Mexico desert.

Life in the center is regimented and intrusive, a nightmare come true. Nurses and therapists watch Stevie at mealtime, accompany her to the bathroom, and challenge her to eat the foods she’s worked so hard to avoid.

Her dad has signed her up for sixty days of treatment. But what no one knows is that Stevie doesn't plan to stay that long. There are only twenty-seven days until the anniversary of her brother Josh’s death—the death she caused. And if Stevie gets her way, there are only twenty-seven days until she too will end her life.

My thoughts:

Paperweight is a raw emotional story of what it's like to live with an eating disorder. I want to place a huge trigger warning that this book has some very graphic content in regards to EDs and self harm and that readers should be aware of this before picking it up.

This book had some great representation for eating disorders. It was clearly well researched and portrayed in a realistic manner. There are some very raw and graphic scenes of what it is like to suffer from an ED and the thoughts people have when suffering from an ED. While I don't have an ED I do have a difficult relationship with food and could relate to a lot of Stevie's thought process. I really related to her at parts and it did make it difficult to keep reading at times but I am so glad I did. I really appreciated how the author talked about labels and control.

I also loved how the story brought the issue of toxic friendships to light. I read so many great friendships in books which I love but it nice to have something different this time. Toxic friendships do happen in real life and are hardly talked about in media and need to be discussed. I loved how Stevie came to realise one of her so called friends wasn't good for her.

I also loved there was a big emphasis on Stevie's relationships with others in the treatment centre. I loved the gradual friendship she builds with her roommate Ashley who she is determined to ignore in the beginning. I also really enjoyed reading her relationship develop with Anna her therapist. Anna is developed as a professional but also as a person who has emotions which I liked.

Paperweight is a very emotional read and I won't lie, it is hard to read some part. I found some parts of the story very hard to get through because of the nature of the content. I never cry reading but this one got me bad.

I would recommend Paperweight to those trying to educate themselves on eating disorders and the reality of them. The story has lots of lessons for those who know little about these mental illnesses such as how eating disorders are not just about food.

Thanks for reading,
A :)

Eliza and her Monsters by Francesca Zappia

*Trigger warning in this book for anxiety and suicide*

Publication: May 30th 2017 by Greenwillow Books

Goodreads Description:

Her story is a phenomenon. Her life is a disaster.

In the real world, Eliza Mirk is shy, weird, and friendless. Online, she’s LadyConstellation, the anonymous creator of the wildly popular webcomic Monstrous Sea. Eliza can’t imagine enjoying the real world as much as she loves the online one, and she has no desire to try.

Then Wallace Warland, Monstrous Sea’s biggest fanfiction writer, transfers to her school. Wallace thinks Eliza is just another fan, and as he draws her out of her shell, she begins to wonder if a life offline might be worthwhile.

But when Eliza’s secret is accidentally shared with the world, everything she’s built—her story, her relationship with Wallace, and even her sanity—begins to fall apart. 

My thoughts:

Eliza and her Monsters is absolutely fantastic. It is A new favourite book of all time for me for sure! I was only a few chapters in and I was in love with it. It is a super quick emotional read that I really identified with.

I related to Eliza straight away- I was so happy to be reading about a character who is just like me. I was constantly saying "yes!!! She gets it!!" Her thought process is exactly like mine. I haven't found a character I related to as much as I had with Eliza since I read Fangirl in 2014. It's so wonderful to find a book with a character that 'gets' you. Francesca Zappia took every single anxious feeling I've ever had and somehow took it from my brain and put it in paper. 

I loved how online friendships played a big role in the story as this is not something we see often in books but  is very prevalent in today's world. I loved hoe supportive and helpful Max and Emmy to Eliza and how it showed even though they had never met in real life it didn't mean their friendship wasn't real.

Family is another big theme I loved in the story. Eliza's family are by no means perfect, her parents don't understand her and her two brothers annoy the hell out of her but I loved reading about their relationships. I loved how Church and Scully interacted with Eliza and showed how siblings usually understand each other better than parents do. I loved how Eliza and her parents work through their issues and their relationships are developed at such a nice pace.

Eliza and her Monsters is a super emotional read, especially towards the end. I am not a big crier in general and hardly ever cry at books but this one got me. The story is much darker than you might think it is before reading and deals with some very heavy topics, especially towards the end. 

I loved the illustrations scattered throughout the novel! It was fun seeing Monstrous Sea. I loved the character designs. The illustrations didn't add much to the story but as someone who loves art i really appreciated them. 

I also loved how the story portrayed what it's like to be a creator and how it feels to work on something you love and what it's like when you get stuck and feel like you can't create anymore. 

Overall, I think Eliza and her Monsters is absolutely fantastic and I would highly recommend it! It even made my list of favourite reads of 2017. It definitely lives up to the hype it got last summer.

My rating: 5 stars

Thanks for reading,

A :)

Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher

*Trigger warning for depression, suicide and sexual assault in this book*

Publication: December 27th 2016 by Razorbill (first published October 18th 2007)

Goodreads Description:

You can’t stop the future. 

You can’t rewind the past.

The only way to learn the secret . . . is to press play.

Clay Jensen returns home from school to find a strange package with his name on it lying on his porch. Inside he discovers several cassette tapes recorded by Hannah Baker–his classmate and crush–who committed suicide two weeks earlier. Hannah’s voice tells him that there are thirteen reasons why she decided to end her life. Clay is one of them. If he listens, he’ll find out why. 

Clay spends the night crisscrossing his town with Hannah as his guide. He becomes a firsthand witness to Hannah’s pain, and as he follows Hannah’s recorded words throughout his town, what he discovers changes his life forever. 

My thoughts:

I have mixed feelings about Thirteen Reasons Why. I liked it and flew through it but I also had a lot of problems with it. It is definitely a book that's is very different to what I usually read.

One of the things I liked was this message of how our actions can have a huge impact on someone's life without us realising and that we should be more aware of how we act. Something insignificant to us might be huge for someone else. This is a pretty obvious thing but not something I've come across being addressed in books and not something we think about a lot. I don't think the author went about portraying this idea by blaming characters actions for Hannah's death the right way but the messages did get across.

Another thing I liked was how captivated I was by the story. While I didn't care for the characters that much I couldn't stop reading. I had to know what pushed Hannah over the edge and how all the characters were connected to her and how Clay was somehow tangled into it too. I flew through it in a few sittings.

Depression and suicide are a huge part of the story and as someone who hasn't suffered from depression I can't say if it was an accurate representation or not. From reading other reviews it looks like some people are extremely pleased with the representation and say it's very accurate while others say the story glamorised mental illness so keep that in mind if you are thinking of picking the book up.

Obviously dealing with serious topics like suicided there is going to be problematic stuff tied to the story. The thing that stood out most to me was there was absolutely no mention how those suffering from a mental illness can get help. There was no discussion about positive mental health and suicide prevention which was disappointing considering how the topic of suicide is the backbone of the story. It was a shame the author didn't address it as it was the perfect story to say something on the matter.

I felt like the characterisation was weak. Because we are trying to get through all the tapes in such a quick amount of time we only get tiny glimpses of the people who Hannah is talking about. To be honest I can't even remember their names; none of them were developed at all. They were all very flat. 

I also had a problem with the main characters. I couldn't connect with Hannah or Clay at all. I felt like Hannah was a bit over the top and super judgemental, I had nothing in common with her. And Clay was just an average guy-nothing special about him to make me care.

That being said I was still engaged the whole time reading though. It's a compelling story for sure but has it's problems. I haven't seen the Netflix show and to be honest probably won't ever watch it. Overall the book was meh for me.

My rating: 3 stars

Thanks for reading,

A :)

Pushing the Limits by Katie McGarry

Series: Pushing the Limits, #1

Publication: July 31st 2012 by Harlequin Teen 

Goodreads Description:

"I won't tell anyone, Echo. I promise." Noah tucked a curl behind my ear. It had been so long since someone touched me like he did. Why did it have to be Noah Hutchins? His dark brown eyes shifted to my covered arms. "You didn't do that-did you? It was done to you?" No one ever asked that question. They stared. They whispered. They laughed. But they never asked.

So wrong for each other...and yet so right.

No one knows what happened the night Echo Emerson went from popular girl with jock boyfriend to gossiped-about outsider with "freaky" scars on her arms. Even Echo can't remember the whole truth of that horrible night. All she knows is that she wants everything to go back to normal. But when Noah Hutchins, the smoking-hot, girl-using loner in the black leather jacket, explodes into her life with his tough attitude and surprising understanding, Echo's world shifts in ways she could never have imagined. They should have nothing in common. And with the secrets they both keep, being together is pretty much impossible.Yet the crazy attraction between them refuses to go away. And Echo has to ask herself just how far they can push the limits and what she'll risk for the one guy who might teach her how to love again...

My thoughts:

I was so surprised by Pushing the Limits. This book needs a new cover and title because they are awful and do not reflect the content. The cover and title made me expect a heavy New Adult romance novel with good girl and a bad boy but that's not really the story; there was actually a lot of depth to it. Obviously there was angst and drama, but not too much!

I really liked Echo straight off the bat. She was so interesting to read about; going in I didn't realise the story was about a girl dealing with trauma and repressed memory. Her determination to find out what happened was admirable and it kept me reading; I really wanted to find out myself. She's sarcastic and feisty and doesn't take anyone's crap and I loved it.

I was not the biggest fan of Noah in the beginning. It was interesting reading about foster kid which is not something I've come across a lot in YA but there was a good few stereotypes and cliches attached to his character. It also irritated me how his narration was full of his thought about Echos body. He never said any of it aloud but it was there and it made me so mad; it did tone down a lot later though and I did eventually warm up to him. I think it was the storyline of how much he loved his brothers and wanted to do whatever it took to get them back was what made me like him. He really is a kind guy, it just took a while for me to like him.

I loved the side characters! Beth and Isaiah, Noah's friends, were my favourite thing ever. They stole the show anytime they were in a scene! I am definitely picking up the companion novels because I hear they are about them! I loved Echo and Noah's therapist,ms Collins, too! She was such a light hearted character and brought so much humour to the story!

There was obviously a romance but I loved how Noah and Echo each had separate storylines and were dealing with their own struggles individually while supporting the other person with theirs.

I can definitely see potential in Katie McGarry's writing to improve and some cliches to be scrapped so I will be reading more of her books in the future, I had fun!

My rating: 4 stars

Thanks for reading,

A :)

Wintergirls by Laurie Halse Anderson

*Trigger warning for eating disorders and self harm*

Publication: March 19th 2009 by Viking Juvenile 

Goodreads Description:

"Dead girl walking”, the boys say in the halls.

"Tell us your secret”, the girls whisper, one toilet to another.

I am that girl.

I am the space between my thighs, daylight shining through.

I am the bones they want, wired on a porcelain frame.

Lia and Cassie are best friends, wintergirls frozen in matchstick bodies, competitors in a deadly contest to see who can be the skinniest. But what comes after size zero and size double-zero? When Cassie succumbs to the demons within, Lia feels she is being haunted by her friend’s restless spirit.

Laurie Halse Anderson explores Lia’s descent into the powerful vortex of anorexia, and her painful path toward recovery.

My thoughts:

Wintergirls is a haunting, raw, disturbing and emotional read. It's probably one of the most intense books I've read in a really long time. And because of that I highly recommend it. (Trigger warning for eating disorders and self harm though, so maybe don't pick it up if your not into reading that or you're not in a healthy mind set).

I loved the writing style, I found it to be really unique. Sometimes I found myself stopping to reread sentences because they were so pretty. And I loved how the author used repetition to portray Lia's spiralling thoughts and such. Like at times there were full pages of the same sentence retreated again and again.

If anyone is wondering about the accurate representation of eating disorders in the book I just wanted to say that from my experience and my knowledge (I can't speak for everyone, everyone's experiences are different) I do think the author wrote a very accurate depiction of what it's like to suffer from and ED. The story really showed how fatal they can be, and really captured the rawness of them through Lia's narration. To be honest I couldn't believe that Wintergirls was not an own voices novel.

I really liked Lia. Some readers may find being in the head of someone struggling with an ED disturbing at times which I can understand but I loved how real it was and how I could relate to her. She'd have a thought and I'd think, I've had that though too- that could have been me going through what she is. 

Wintergirls had such a big impact on me that when I was finished I was speechless. I think the message of the book is so intense because of how realistic the main character is and the portrayal of EDs.

My only problems with Wintergirls lies with the side characters. I felt like some of them were very underdeveloped; I get that this is Lia's story but I would have liked to get to know her family a bit more.

If you are looking for a cute easy contemporary to read this isn't the book for you. Wintergirls is extremely dark and emotional and hard to read at times but is a gem in the world of YA contemporary, I highly recommend it!

My rating: 4.5 stars

Thanks for reading,

A :)